The back of the house has a three level sleeping porch that we believe went through a mid-century makeover and possibly a Van Halen era cover up. At some point, it was fully enclosed with wooden walls and sliding windows. The floors broadcast the same fastidious Victorian era craftsmanship of the rest of the house, but blatant care fatigue took over whoever clad the entire structure with an ad hoc layer of 2x4s which were subsequently covered with faux brick siding.
The siding layer is about 1/2" thick. Determinedly hammered into place with thousands of fasteners, it masks the seams and loosely mitered corners of the 2x4 layer. You can almost hear out loud the voice of the creator of this assembly: just board this up, just get it done, just nail this sucker down so tight It never comes off. Ever.
It's an aesthetic abomination. Mercifully, the rusted out, crumbling gutter above it undermined that mechanic's ambition. Years of rain dribbling down, soaking the face of the siding layer have swollen its fibers and pockets of air bulge gently away from the armature of 2x4s. If you pick at the bulges between the nails, crumbling chunks of material come off in your hand revealing ghostly white sacks of spider eggs hidden beneath.
The back porch is screaming for rejuvenation. We plan to overhaul it completely, but In the meantime, the gnarly siding had to go.
Just pops right off
spider eggs ...
Look at that!